ok so what's new, not much

Headache emerges - too much caffeine again. you know when you look back and think you should have done something differently. You know what's worse, looking back and wishing you had done something differently, but having the chance and no greater insight. Knowing you didn't figure anything out - and you'd make the same mistakes over again.

It's nice saying "well at least I learned something." There is nothing consoling in thinking - "man that stinks, but what else is new."

umm, that sounds confusing and a bit depressed. But I'm not - depressed that it! Confused - yes but mostly by what I just wrote. I believe I truly have a dizzying intellect.

You know life really looks like a big loop. I don't know if I want to grow up. I don't want to work, pay bills - it's soo boring, maybe I'll be a missionary, or marry rich!

jk.

you know the saying "it's not about having what you want, it's about wanting what you have." Man! i've been thinking about that. Do you really want to change what you want - that's who you are. True maybe that will never happen. I might never get the job i want, or go where I want to go blah blah, but at least it's an unhappy ME. or I could be a contented other me. uhhmm. I'll think about the most retarded things forever and never receive an epiphany. so really I'm wasting time. THAT'S RIGHT - GO BE PRODUCTIVE! ok i will! bye.